The Spear of Destiny vs The Spear of Longinus

I’ve spent too long doing this stuff. Just to have it all ripped apart by the “We Always Win” crew.

Nah. Not any more, mes braves.

Go back. Go way, way back to my posts from 2018/2019 when I tear the Romans apart. Especially Julius Caesar and all that crap.

HIS – story is real. It’s all HIS Story. When you dive deep into Fomenko and New Chronology and actually try to debunk them for over a decade. You’ll understand from whence I come.

Who drove a Spear into Christ’s side when he was on the cross?

And WHO one was of the killers of Julius Caesar?

Et tu Bruti?

Et tu Gaius Cassius Longinus?

And none of this has anything to do with Russia – the country as we know it today.

AEWAR has fallen down the same hole, methinks.

And yes. I’m overly sensitive right now. That’s the lot of a REAL EMPATH who FEELS every single knife/arrow/spear on their soul.

Apparently Herr A. Hitler was desperate to obtain the Spear of Destiny so that he could have magical power uber alles. And we all know how that ended. Follow a MYTH, disprove a myth.

NC postulates that the man known as Julius Caesar is a “reflection” of the myth known as “Jesus.”

I’m in my own private Circle of Hell chez Dante right now.

Or just keep on taking the piss out of me.

So over y’all :o)

P.S. Try looking into Wagner and Parsifal or Wolfram von Eschenbach’s Parzival or The Bleeding Spear of the Grail Castle or The Fisher King with his thigh stuck by a spear or Chiron the wounded or ? ? ?

All or Nothing : The Patron Saints of Imperfection

This is where Eddi Reader entered my life. This album. She’s stayed ever since.

I whistled a tune called ‘lazy’ and I tiptoed a very tight line
All of the time walking backwards, all of the time I was blind
And the only voice I was hearing was yours inside my head
Saying “Get yourself back to the kitchen, girl, one true move and you’re dead”

But I found out it’s all or nothing

That’s me in a nutshell.

Give me ALL – you get the same.

Give me NOTHING – ditto.

I do NOT do small, superfluous, half-hearted, easy, instant gratification.


High Functioning Anxiety

The day before this was uploaded I posted this…

Falling In Love with Geekdom

Yep. I’m honestly beginning to love these two :o)

Jeebuth. If she drives through London – Mucho Kudos to her.

I did it once. In a Landrover Defender….to Chelsea Barracks and the stress-o-meter was off the scale.

I even get panic attacks here, in Lincolnshire, now, decades later. FFS.

It matters NOT how good a driver you may be – there’s always some arsehole willing to risk it all because he/she is in a hurry.

My brother used to be a Traffic Cop. He HATED it. Fast cars. Yay? Going to the homes of loved ones after a tragedy….not fun :o(

So he became an emergency armed response cop. Shrug. At least someone else did the driving

I have quiet but very expletive-full road rage.


And so …

The Cottage Fairy

I’ve watched this girl on and off for quite a while.

Last video I saw was her wedding prep. She looked so beautiful.

Today she’s speaking for ME too.

Right now – the best I get is total isolation. The very worst is my every word/comment coming back to bite my bum.

I don’t even write anymore.

Where to go from here?

Time will tell.

Writing The Hero’s Journey

I am first and foremost a writer.

I’ve studied both the art and the craft of writing for decades but everything I’ve read and/or written boils down to one single Universal Truth.


This is the meaning of life. To live that journey.

Joseph Campbell was a great mentor via his books. Robert Graves too. And Myth & Legend. And the Tarot.

Everything in our lives is predicated on The Journey and how we choose to travel.

This journey ALWAYS starts with THE FOOL. The blithe young soul wearing the motley, with a bindle on his shoulder, the rose of love in his hand and a faithful dog at his heels as he steps over the cliff into the unknown.

The Journey always ends with The World. A circle. A Naked Woman and the Tetramorph (the four elements or the Four Evangelists or…)

It is a completed cycle.

Within this journey we face so much. So many trials. The Magic. The Spirit. The Love. The Strength. The Forward. The Backward. The Death. The Rebirth. The Devil. The Angel. The Destruction. The Rebuilding. Justice. Judgement. Light. Dark. Hope. Failure. Loss. Gain.


George Lucas wrote Star Wars based on Joseph Campbell’s Hero With a Thousand Faces.

Luke is the fool. The little man with a strange voice (Obi wan?) is the Magician. Leia is the High Priestess. Darth is just one letter away from DEATH. And Vader is an anagram of RAVED.


I see this within my own life. Though – I just keep going back to The Sacred Fool (Heyoka) and Death is a given.

Don’t Bring Me Down…….

Thanks :o)

2 vs ONE

That’s how it started for me.

Narc + Narc ua-vs Little ME.

Then it GREW.

Hundreds of Narcs vs Little ME.

There is too much darkness in this world but one small light will always shine. FACT!

My greatest weapon was used the day that I revealed my EMPATH Soul. In 2019.

LOL. It brought them ghosties, ghoulies and long legged beasties right into – not just MY life but also – my most dearly beloveds’ lives.

And for that single eff-up…I HAVE become extremely Old Testament.


Destroy me all y’all want.

Leave my loved ones alone.

Thank you.

My light left on is NOT for demons. It’s for the love we bear each other.

NO – THING will destroy that.

Get it. Got it. GOOD :o)

Demonic Energy & The People of the Lie

There is too much evidence collected over the past 3 and a half years (and stored for future use) to make any of this mere coincidence or synchronicity.

No matter where I go on yt – I’m followed by demons whose sole aim is to destroy every single connection I make.

The one below happened a couple of days ago.

And every single time I publicly warn the channel owner – I AM TRASHED TO HELL.

Hey y’all – TRASH me in public and you WILL get revealed in public.

Greta Brookes’ name was made shit and unwanted….Now Uncontrolled Historian’s name is going the same way.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON on yt now gives me the STINK EYE.


Because I’ll NOT take this disgusting, diabolical, demonic dissing FROM ANYONE.

Never have. Never will.

I’ve lost too many friends and colleagues to sit quietly in a corner, sucking my thumb and screaming for Mummy.

Watch the video below and SEE YOURSELVES AS I SEE YOU.

Thank you

Truth About The Black Dog (?)

Churchill coined the phrase.

Many another suffered too, including Samuel Johnson and the fictional Sherlock Holmes.

What IS “the black dog?”

My country is full of myth and legend. We have a myth and/or a legend for all and everything. Scholars spend lifetimes studying and speculating and pontificating.

Is the black dog the ghost of Black Vaughn? A puma that has escaped from a zoo? A Baskerville Beast?

Two views of The Black Dog.

I know which one I KNOW!


All his mates and Fellows and collaborators?

Has a single one posted a video in support of a man clearly in pain and anger and disillusionment?

When the money and the subs were rolling in, they were happy to be seen with him.


Who has failed whom?

I believe in Jade. I was skewered at the sharp end of this person’s (these men’s, including JL) dicky ego. But – c’mon. You’d’ve thought his mates would supported him. Yes? No?

BTW – they all failed me too.

Some men just can’t take on a Sagittarian Woman :o)

Acceptance & Moving On : The Painful Truth

Not even Near Death – Jan 30th 2019, collapsed on the kitchen floor and all but gone – stopped me from trying.

But there comes a time when we all have to face An Inconvenient Truth.

Even if I had died there and then, no one outside of my family would be bothered. It’d’ve change NOTHING. Apart from giving me the peace I so desperately seek.

A Word of Advice : NEVER, EVER give help and advice away free gratis and for nothing. YOU will end up paying the price until……

The Epitome of a Sigma Female!

That’s me :o)

A sigma female is an independent woman who is not afraid to go against the grain. She is aware of societal norms and pressure, however, chooses to do exactly what she wants to do. 

She is similar to the sigma male as she is happy to be alone and does not need other people to validate her. 

Being a sigma female is amazing as you live your life your own way. You may be a little bit introverted, but have a lot of charisma and power too! 

A sigma female is not a leader or a follower.

Instead, they are outside of the social hierarchy. They respect others and in return gain respect. 


My BFF at the mo’ is the DELETE button on the laptop.

Don’t need you. DON’T need you. Don’t NEED you. Don’t need YOU. #delete

“I’m Hard To Get.”

True Life Story….Part 2

PART ONE : June 2020



Tuesday, 9 June 2020, 14:31

First off – I CANNOT believe that the video below has just turned up in MY yt recommended feed. #Timing

When I was 18, I worked a summer season on a Holiday Camp. The contract ended around October. The girl I’d worked with (who was 20) and I then volunteered to take a bunch of Old Aged Pensioners for a week’s holiday to Benidorm, Spain in the November.

I might’ve said before that I celebrated my 19th birthday in Benidorm with a bunch of “oldies” who gave me the best birthday party EVER (?)

Anyway. Friend (and I use that word loosely) and I caught this film in a small backstreet cinema in Benidorm. She’d seen it before. I hadn’t.

That night I had a nightmare from hell and woke up to see a young boy standing at the foot of my bed dressed in full American Football Gear. Helmet. Grill. Red shirt and all. He just stared at me with very sad eyes.

I HATE this film :o(

P.S. God’s Honest Truth!

P.P.S. Regan? King Lear? Shakespeare?


This is my own most memorable paranormal moment. Even then, although he was only about 6 or 7 years old and I was 18 – I KNEW we’d meet again. He asked me for help that night. I promised to help him.

Fast forward – He CHOOSE another LIFE.

I kept my vow.

I’ve had other “other” moments. But they are NOT relevant here :o)


Yesterday I was feeling very down. Hopeless. Lifeless. Angry. Confused. Resentful. Victimised.

WHY? I had no reason to feel that. I’m doing great. My creativity has never been higher. My connections have never been sweeter.


Some THING that will not let me go … was totally possessed and determined to lower me to their level.


Don’t Bring ME Down. Don’t even try.

I’m not one of the whores in the harem.

I’m better than that. FACT!

So Much To Do : So Little Time To Bother with Trivials

I’ve done this Biryani before and it took half a day. Even with the hijacking of several males to finish off grinding the spices!!!

I’m planning to do it tomorrow so I’m prepping.

The Hairy Biker’s Curry book is fabulous. But first…

No Time For Wasters :o)

P.S. I have a beautiful, huge, old pestle and mortar. Grinding those spices by hand makes one strong in the biceps and high/giddy on the smell.

The Celtic Boii Tribe

Hey. Some things just HAVE to be done.

I’m just showing. SHE (IT) took and used all of ME and my work for her own self-glorification.

I’m related to the man in the image above. Uncle Jim even went to his tomb in Tallin, Estonia.

Here we have a video from yt with BOII in the title.

CopyCat or REAL DEAL, you cocky bastard?

And this is a PUBLIC personal message to two people who have LIED about everything.


I Can Forgive a Thief but NEVER a Liar

My Dad was an empath. It’s what made him such a brilliant policeperson.

When I once lied to him about who broke his favourite mug he said ……. I can forgive a thief but NEVER a liar.

I am my father’s daughter.

Liars are the most Heinous of people.

Their reasons for lying mean NOTHING.

Yes. We sometimes twist the truth to save another person. I’ve done that.

But I don’t lie about who I am or what I think and feel. I’m labelled as TACTLESS, CRUEL, BITCHY.


Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies ? ? ?

And I WILL NOT tolerate you. You WILL cease to exist in my world at worst. At best – I’ll watch your every word forever. Even if I love you to the bones and back again.

Sad but true.

Visiting My Dark Side

She is ALWAYS present. We talk a lot and argue and bitch and get all huffy and stand-off-ish with each other.

But I have NEVER not (double negative?) revealed her to y’all. I have ALWAYS revealed her…

She’s a be-at-ch. We hate but love each other. Co-dependant as eff. Night and day. Male and female. Dark and light.

I’ve wilfully turned off my “gift/curse”

It has been too much for me to handle. No more empathy will be given.

This bitch is cold as ice – feels like paradise. Is that a song lyric?

I have NEVER been into S&M. EVER. Hurt me and I’ll just effing kill you dead. Eternal pain is Not my vibe.

No prisoners. No quarter.

Champagne Tastes on a Beer Budget : Linen

I adore linen.

I go slightly giddy and uncontrollable around linen.

Once upon a time it was as common as grass. So common that it was used as underclothes beneath the more expensive silks and satins.

Now it COSTS an effing fortune to buy by the metre.


Don’t y’all just love economic and governmental shenanigans that prefer money and buildings and tarmac over earth and plants and home/cottage industries !

Ranty Linen Mother Earth Vibe today :o)

The Unbearable Heaviness of Being

The quote above belongs to ME now. As in, I’ve come to fully own it through experience.

And I WILL stand by it.

To be hated for what we ARE is so much better than the lie. In my opinion.

Something that I’ve never talked about fully is being psychic, or whatever label you want to call it. I prefer the old label – SEER.

Clairsentience is real.

It is also a road to hell when you blurt out unwanted truths…like me. All the time. Ooops.

Growing up with other family members who denied their “real” because they were too afraid to step away from Societal Norms might’ve made me swing the pendulum a bit too far the other way.

When you are having a wonderful conversation with someone and you suddenly, innocently blurt out – How many Children Have You Had? Things start to get very tricky. Very fast. That’s how I know about her appalling childhood.

It opened a wound deeply buried yet still raw and bleeding at the time.

She’s all but healed from it now that it’s no longer a dark secret. TRUTH.

I’d rather be hated or avoided than FAKE LOVED. Thank you :o)

It’s In The Genes

The two most influential and Non-Communicative people in my life have been my Dad and his Mum.

I’ve talked about Lily before. She died when I was 6 years old and Dad was 28. He adored her too.

But neither were demonstrative people. Dour Scottish Presbyterians. But the three of us could talk without words.

My father could never own his gift, although he had so much proof of it. That’s what made him a great policeman. He could feel a liar before they even opened their mouths.

I once tried to trick him by lying about having no knowledge of the broken fragments of his favourite mug in the bin. He just looked at me and said : I can forgive a thief but NEVER a liar.

Fair Cop, Guv :o)

Neither of them ever hugged me, kissed me or said that they loved me. EVER. Both had a truly “wicked” sense of humour that could command a room though :o)

Maybe I freaked them out. They knew what was in store (?)

Dad drowned his gift in whiskey and rage. He’d been through too much, seen too much, in his job to bear.

Life is NEVER dull or stagnant for me. Always too much to learn.

Hitting The Target is….NOT BEING TROLLED

So many have spread the myth that when you awaken the trolls, you’ve hit the target.


I KNOW from real life experience that when you have been hit by an unbearable truth – SILENCE takes over.

The mother who has lost her child will go into shock. Her mind/body will shut down. SILENCE.

When we tell an inconvenient truth that hits the target we get SILENCE.

I’m not attracting a single troll/viper/nasty arse right now.

Have I HIT A TARGET and flipped an over-played abuse script?

Silence is Golden :o)

N3V3R 4GT : VR Talking about VR

I forget many things IRL. like, why did I just walk into this room? What was I going to do?

BUT I NVR4GT a copycat :o)

I’m a Highlander down to the marrow and back again, hen.

I haven’t forgotten the reply to Venus Rose demanding a monkeewrench. Her dearly beloved asked – Are you AI (artificial intelligence) ? ? ?

Yup, you twit. She was. She had it, babe – e, she had it.

Dirty. Rotten. Scoundrels. Great film :o)

Empaths Are Made of Honesty

And they can spot a wannabe a thousand miles away.

The only place that I have EVER talked about being an Empath is HERE. I don’t broadcast it all over the place.

I have days when I truly HATE being me. Feeling what I feel.

Whenever I have HONESTLY pointed out that certain people are doing the same old, same old chitty chat amongst their mates with zero interest in the video content creator’s words…I get the reaction above.

BTW : this was the first and last time that I EVER took part in a live chat using part of my DEAD mother’s name because Greta Brookes was so HATED. And the content creator AGREED to ban me.

Sorry, Mum :o(

Go figure.

Deeply Uncomfortable Life Path

From day 1 on ytoob I presented my work with the New Chronology narrative to Martin Liedtke. He very kindly shared this with his subs and other friends.

This was 3 years and 5 days ago.

To this date (10/1/2020) Fomenko and his team’s work has been at the very core of The Hidden History Project. I applied every single element of my former Police Investigative training to my studies of this – as if I was interrogating a suspect or questioning a witness…again.

Sadly : 3 years and 5 days ago, I was seen as a crazy crank who had thrown something new into the arena that titillated a few, for a minute or two. And then they rejected me and my work.

Life has moved on and suddenly many are asking about New Chronology. Not from me. From those who rejected the premise back then.

Here is the only place open to me now. Here is where I had to start again after a total totalling of everything.

I’m so grateful to those who follow me and like some of my posts. As YOU know – it’s not just crazy crank history here. There is so much more.

Bless you all for making my uncomfortable worth every second of my pain xxx

SAD as ….?

I KNOW when I’m being taunted.

I just know.

Today was an experimental posting day.

Yup. Too obvious. Too transparent. Too much of the same old, same old. These people are so blind that they will just keep on repeating…keep on repeating…keep on etc

It’s a War of Attrition that they will NEVER end because they are so secure in their own internal movie theatre.
With their thumb on the rewind, repeat button.

Sad as… :o(

P.S. Yes. I do feel sorry for them. Their void is so vast and unfillable/unfulfilled/unfluffed/unfortunate. Boring.

Change the record, my anonymous

Kirkcaldy & a Giddy Pheasant

Bear with me. It’ll make sense. Eventually!

Kirkcaldy – Kirkcoddy in the Scottish vernacular – is minutes away from Kinghorn where my Paternal family were born. Apart from Lily, who was from OFF…Glasgow.

New Year’s Eve, Himself spent most of the night in Lincoln doing emergency things. A man drowned in the canal that night :o(

Then he found a Blootered young girl lying in the gutter mumbling to herself in a foreign accent. He picked her up and questioned her. Apparently – God’s Honest- she was 19 years old, from Kirkcaldy and in Lincoln with her mates for a Hogmanay Bash because Nicola Fish had banned everyone from Edinburgh. She’d lost her mates, her handbag and her bearings. He put her in his van and called the Police to help re-unite her with her friends. What did said police do? They found a return train ticket to Kirkcaldy in her pocket, drove her to Lincoln Central and unloaded her onto a train home.


Today – I get a pheasant from his latest Emergency Stint. It’d been hit by a car and was wandering the road bamboozled and giddy. A beautiful bird – who is now snug in a box by the wood burner, covered in a blanket to help with the shock.

Pheasant has a 20/80% survival rate. We’re doing our best.

Kirkcaldy – Past & Present

Sense made?


First Footing & Happy Hogmanay

When I was a kid, my Dad would mysteriously disappear every New Year’s Eve at about 7/8pm. He’d leave the house carrying a bottle of whisky, some food and a piece of coal.

Yes – Being tall, Scottish, with black hair and not bad-looking, he was in High Demand this night.

It’s called First Footing.

Today it would be called something totally different, sadly :o(

I’ve had many a dour adult New Year’s Eve with people who are all Xmassed out. Pooh to Party Poopers!!!!

I think Nicola Fish, Scotland’s First SeaCreature has cancelled Edinburgh AGAIN this year.

Bet she’s getting pished in private tonight and laughing her Manolo Blahniks off.

Happy Next Year and Slainte to all those who pretend to be…..