Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

This was the Queen’s reply to Alice telling her that one could not believe in impossible things.

A pretty good summary of my own journey into Hidden History.

Above is the opening of an article by Andreu Marfull Pujadas called The Parable of History and something I’ve read several times.


Because it has refused to make any sense.

My knowledge of Jews, Judaism is almost zero and that small part is thoroughly mainstream.

Yet, the other day, all started to make some semblance of sense when I connected it to two of history’s most famous Men-of-War.

Napoleon and Hitler.

Both of these figures had a knowledge of something Hidden that set them on their respective paths of destruction – destruction of themselves and of others.

And both of them were obsessed with Egypt.

P.S. I’m trying to debunk my own theory about the Black Madonna but even anti-sources are giving hard facts in support.

Heyho :o)

Secrets of Pain vs Richard Dawkins

I’ve done my best to promote Phil Rickman’s Merrily books.

They are long and convoluted and revolve around a mother who is an Anglican Vicar and a daughter who is Pagan and their lives together in a village called Ledwardine.

Sounds boring? Nah. Rickman is one of the best “character” writers I’ve ever come across.

So many stand outs. Lucy Devenish dies very early in the series but she’s always there.

Gomer Parry – Plant Hire. Gomer is over 80 years old and will do all and anything to protect young Jane.

Lol )Laurence Robinson( one of Jane’s best friends, a shy and haunted folk singer/song writer who becomes Merrily’s lover and greatest love. And who now lives in the late Lucy Devenish’s cottage.

Barry – ex-SAS who is Landlord of the Swan pub and key player in this story about retired SAS soldiers.

And the wonderful DI Franny Bliss. Liverpudlian, lapsed Catholic incomer to the West Mercia Police Force.

I’m on my third go around with Secrets of Pain. Shit. How did I miss so much on the other two reads? ? ?

Merrily is having nightmares about Richard Dawkins. Even she thinks that she’s wasting her time propping up an archaic institution that is now more political than Christian.

BTW – Merrily is a Deliverance Minister aka Exorcist for the Diocese of Hereford. She KNOWS that there are more things in Heaven and on Earth than are dreamt of in our philosophy, Horatio.

I may not be a Churchian or a Bible-tarian. But I have a deep and unmoving faith in the knowledge that WE are not the be all and end all of everything.

I don’t do “science” either. As my exams results say :o)

P.S. The audiobook has music. Lol singing the songs he’s written………!

Time To Test Myself :o)

The retail building above is now empty.

I know the owner. I know her business partner. I know the woman who owns the shop next door. But I don’t know why the business has been wound up.

I’ve loved this place since I was a kid. Back then it was the local chemist and had been family owned for generations. They were proper pharmacists but had kept all the original Victorian shop fittings.

Those fittings are long gone but the space is still gorgeous.

Jeebuth. Sooooo tempting.

Do I go back into “trade” ? ? ?

Do I have the ability to start from scratch again?

This is gonna test my leetle grey cell.

Discount for trade, love? I used to have fun saying that in happier days.

It’s Not Just an Oirish t’ing, ya ken?

It’s a fault (or gift) of the Scots too. Especially Highlanders.

P.S. I was not ever the favourite child either. I was a girl. The other two were boys. My mother was not good at hiding this but Dad was just….A David.

I got over it the day we cleared out his flat, after his funeral.

My father had kept every single Xmas and birthday card I’d sent him since leaving home at 17.

The feckin’ eedjit :o)

When Fiction & Reality Collide


I googled Lol Robinson – Heavy Medication Day.

If you don’t know the books – this is Laurence Robinson’s Redemption song in the Merrily Watkins books.

Lol spent time in a psych ward after being falsely accused of raping an underage girl. His (fictional) song Heavy Medication Day tells of the torment that Dr. Gascoigne put him through with drugs to shut him up.

As the series progresses, bit by bit, we see Lol redeem himself through music and his Boswell (Lute of the Frome) guitar.

With the help of Merrily and Jane and the dead Lucy Devenish – who introduced Jane to Lol and was a mentor to both of them.


Laurence Robinson (fictional) via Phil Rickman (real) sings.

P.S. Hazey Jane was…oh, read or listen to the books. I recommend the Merrily books read by Emma Powell.

Lute of the Frome

Poor Lol.

That’s Laurence Robinson, Merrily Watkins lover. He’s a musician with issues and in Fabric of Sin his biggest issue is the unholy destruction of his prized Boswell guitar by paid thugs.

The “Boswell” is a lovingly created guitar from the hands of Al Boswell who treats each instrument as a child of his loins.

The guitar cost Lol £4,000. (The book was written in the late ’90’s, early 2000’s if I remember correctly)

Boswell’s guitar making business is called – The Lute of the Frome.

Frome pronounced FROOM.

Can’t make this shit up. Catch me if you can :o)

9 is THE Controller of the Universe!

For the longest time I’ve been fascinated by the 3, 6, 9 thing-a-me-bobby.

Tesla too. He was one good-looking man with a brilliant mind. IMHumbleO

Many ages ago – I was taught how to do the 9 times table on my fingers. I still use it. Maths has never given me that elusive “finest moment.”

Back in 2019 I posted about Tesla and his 3,6,9 Theory. It has come back again via Phil Rickman and the Fabric of Sin. Merrily is an ordained Christian Vicar and widow. Her teenage daughter is….Pagan. With a deep distrust of the Church of England. Natural tension just on this point.

In The Fabric of Sin, Jane is trying to tell her Mum the significance of the number 9 as it relates to the Templars. The first “Knights TEMPLAR” were just 9 men guarding the Pilgrim routes from Western Europe to the Holy Land. So they’d’ve had only 5 horses between them because (as we all know) they rode two to a horse…but maybe the Big Boss had his own steed (?)

Yeah. Even I can work out that 5 horses and 9 men could NEVER cover the thousands of pilgrim routes over thousands of miles all at once. IT DOES NOT ADD UP!

So. WHY was Tesla so CERTAIN that 3, 6, 9 were the numbers of the all & everything?


3×1 = 3

3+3 = 6

6+6+6 = 9

9+9 = 9

F1RST Rule of Deliverance : Never Leave Without a BLESSING

We now have an East Coast of America Exorcist called Amanda.

Way to go, pet.

Do you have Huw Owen – “her exorcist mentor, is wonderfully irascible and ambivalent.”

Born in Wales. Raised in Yorkshire. Living in a tumbledown rectory in the Brecon Beacons?

I’ve asked too much. I’m too suspicious of ytoooooobers who can backdate their profile 8 years. It’s such a common number.

BTW : Wine of Angels is the F1RST Merrily book. Apples. Orchards. Lucy Devenish. Thomas Trahearne.

ScritchScratch – Love ya :o)

‘Promote ill purposes and Flatter foul desires.’

POETS Day – of a sort.

As in Pee Off Early, Tuesday Soon :o)

My brain had convinced me that the latest Merrily book would be available on the 2nd of April.

Stupid Brain!

Phil Rickman

Next book in the MW exorcism series, out on June 2, 2022.

’I called on darkness… midnight darkness…’

At the end of the 18th century, the poet William

Wordsworth rambled, in a strange visionary 

haze, from Salisbury Plain up into the Wye 

Valley. The epic walk changed his life.

More than 200 years later, Oxford student David

Vaynor followed the same secluded route and 

still can’t explain what happened to him there.

Now he’s back, as a police detective investigating

a suspicious death and finding that, in this place of

awesome cliffs and chasms, there are crimes the 

police can’t deal with.

Meanwhile, Merrily Watkins, diocesan exorcist for 

Hereford, is being warned that in-depth investigation 

is not part of her job – a job she may not be holding 

down for much longer. At the start of the national

lockdown caused by the threatening pandemic, she’ll be 

risking her future to help Vaynor uncover the secrets of 

England and Wales’ s most revered river.

For behind the scenic beauty are elements that, as 

Wordsworth put it, ‘promote ill purposes and flatter 

foul desires.’

Departure Lounge

I’ve had to pause in my night-time listens with this book!

Rap twice if you believe in ghosts.

Saddled with Siân Callaghan-Clarke and Nigel Saltash, an ambitious cleric and a publicity-hound psychiatrist recently appointed advisors to her office, Anglican vicar Merrily Watkins is wary of helping out retired copper Andy Mumford, who comes to her in despair when his nephew Robbie plunges from a tower of Ludlow Castle and Robbie’s grandmother insists she sees her grandson’s ghost. When another youngster catapults from the castle and granny winds up face down in the river, Merrily and Mumford must decide whether young Robbie committed suicide to unite with his 12th-century love Marian de La Bruyère or was murdered. Mumford focuses on a gang of Robbie’s druggie tormentors while Merrily and her musician lover Lol watch eccentric Belladonna, a rock star turned town benefactor, who often wanders the Ludlow cobblestones in the company of Robbie and Jonathan Scole, founder of the local Ghost Walk. The cryptic Belladonna is the bane of fusty mayor George Lackland, whose son wants to marry Belladonna’s stepdaughter. A paean to Welsh border history and its spirits that will undoubtedly put Ludlow Castle on many to-see lists. Nor is Rickman (The Prayer of the Night Shepherd, 2004, etc.) any slouch when it comes to contemporary church politics, Internet chat rooms or village rumor mills.

WHY? I hear y’all not cry. I’ll tell you anyways.

At a certain point in the story Jane, Merrily’s 17 year old daughter, gets involved in the investigation. She spends time on the internet trying to find out why kids keep throwing themselves off Ludlow Castle.

Enter the “Departure Lounge.” An internet chat room aimed at effed up teenagers with shitty lives. The MODERATORS encourage these teenagers to seek the sanctity of “eternal rest.”

Self-euthanasia. In dramatic ways. Just to piss off every person who ever pissed them off in life.

Too creepy and close to truth?

Phil wove the all too real and still extant MYTH of the 12th century Marian de La Bruyère into the book. Along with a fictional punk singer and total weirdo called BellaDonna.

I’m loving Lol (Laurence) Robinson. Merrily’s lover. He’s a musician with a dark past and old connections to BellaDonna.

I believe it was Sir John Betjeman who once said that Ludlow was prettiest town in England. Maybe.

Mr Phoebus : Elgar

The Remains of an Altar.

I learn so much from Phil Rickman.

I’m listening to Remains right now.

In 1934, the dying composer Sir Edward Elgar feebly whistled to a friend the theme from his Cello Concerto and said, “If you’re walking on the Malvern Hills and hear that, don’t be frightened. It’s only me.” Seventy years later, Merrily Watkins—parish priest and Deliverance Consultant to the Diocese of Hereford—is called in to investigate an alleged paranormal dimension in a spate of road accidents in the Malvern village of Wychehill. There, Merrily discovers new tensions in Elgar’s countryside. The proposed takeover of a local pub by a nightclub owner with a criminal reputation has become the battleground between the defenders of Olde Englande and the hard men of the drug world—with extreme and sinister elements on both sides. And as the choral society prepares to stage an open-air performance of Elgar’s Caractacus at a prehistoric hill fort, the deaths begin…Another spellbinding thriller in Phil Rickman’s lauded occult mystery series.

Who the fluff is Mr. Phoebus?

He’s more down-to-earth than you’d imagine.

As for Caractacus Hill – been there done that. Caradog…betrayed by Cartimandua to the Romans. His son, Linus, was supposedly the Very First Bishop of Rome.

Let’s get Hysterically Historical here with a magical, musical, mystery tour :o)

Oh. And sorry for the vernacular but – when a pig-shit-ignorant ytber stands on an altar stone smoking a spliff and pontificating about how wonderful he is……I exit stage left.

How To Totally Embarrass Your Offspring in One Easy Lesson


Tesco Supermarket at 8am GMT today.

My youngest is a very particular kind of person. He likes to go, leisurely, up and down each aisle to look at all the stuff on the shelves.

I’m more Hit&Quit. I HATE shopping.

So – this song came on the MUSAK shopping experience speakers and I shouted…..AHA. Roxy Music. And then began to sing the words.

I must’ve walked a mile before I relocated son and shopping trolley.

When she’s good she is very, very good. When she is bad, she is EMBARRASSING and must be avoided at all costs :o)

Shame he was the money.

He HAD acknowledge me finally and pay for the stuff :o)

To Dream of the Dead

I’m onto another listen of this Phil Rickman book.

Maybe my third listen/read.

That’s why I love this writer soooo bloody much. You miss 99% first time and 59% next time.

BTW : I get stretches of time to do this stuff here that last from seconds to maybe 20 minutes. I’ve been watching BB since about 8 am and we are now almost 4pm. He’s triggered me again.

WHO T F is Richard Hawkins?

Phil Rickman hates him….via his characters.


TO DREAM OF THE DEAD is the latest instalment in this series set in Ledwardine, a fictional Herefordshire village in the Welsh borders featuring female vicar and local exorcist Merrily Watkins and her pagan teenage daughter Jane.

As the book opens in the run up to Christmas, the river is starting to burst its banks, and Ledwardine is in danger of flooding. Village tension is also mounting, as the excavation of historic standing stones is putting a spanner in the works of local bigwigs’ plans to redevelop Coleman’s meadow for executive housing. Bumptious TV architect Blore plus camera crew are in charge of the excavation, and Jane and the local council are shut out. In the meantime, a local politician is found dead in a particularly gruesome manner in a deserted Hereford monastery, with traces left on the body related to another historical find, the Dinedor serpent. As this local politician approved the building of a new road on the site of the serpent, the local environmentalist and pagan community come under suspicion. Merrily’s old friend, DI Franny Bliss however suspects rather more prosaic motives are behind the murder, and despite his superior officer, “Ice Maiden” Annie Howe’s disapproval, starts to cast around the political fraternity for further information. Despite herself, Merrily becomes involved in the investigation as the victim’s widow is a friend of her colleague, diocese secretary Sophie, and because the police see her daughter Jane as a vital source of information regarding the pagan community under suspicion. Merrily also feels under professional pressure when she finds out that an aggressively atheist author in the mould of Richard Dawkins has moved into the area under a false name.

TO DREAM OF THE DEAD has a slightly different feel to earlier books in the series as the emphasis is more upon the police investigation than upon Merrily’s unusual work as the local exorcist. But in other respects it is business as usual. Phil Rickman manages to neatly reconcile the various strands of plot to provide a satisfying, dramatic conclusion, and characterisation and dialogue are sharp and witty; the author provides a neat satire on village life in the “new Cotswolds” and the relationships between local inhabitants and the newcomers who attempt to gentrify the area. I look forward to further books in this series, but do hope that the next book has more of a focus on Merrily and the spiritual and potentially supernatural elements behind crime and traumatic events.

Laura Root, England
January 2009


Personal Disclaimer : I have utter faith in FAITH. I don’t do RELIGION.

Whoooa. Rick Daw has hit a bit of a wobbly point in so many today?

BitterSweet Symphony


He earns over £5,000 a week ?

For making up words like Technasmia, Antiquitech, Aquatech, Cherubimuski, Flatterday, Flat Thumbs, I Shiteth You Not et al.


He’s CRACKED the code. Good Luck to him.

Meanwhile. Back at the ranch…………

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony that’s life
Trying to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money then you die
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the veins meet, yeah

Village Fetes & Christmas

There is something quite similar about a Village Fete and Christmas…that involves people.

In 13 years here, we have hosted the Village Fete in our garden about 9 times. One year the weather was appalling and it got cancelled, one year I had a Major family crisis and said NO to them. The past two years are obvious.

We were in a strange but revealing position because our fete is planned in turns, between the Village Council and the Parochial Council and never the twain shall meet.

It still stuns me how the best stall position, the winner of the Tombola, the best jam/cake competition etc can bring out the very Worst in normally placid and nice people!

This book above is the reason that I got into the Agatha Raisin series by M.C. Beaton. It rang LOL bells in my head. So true. Every incomer joins either party – parochial (church) or village – and sets out to stamp their mark on us :o)


Putting all her eggs in one basket, Agatha Raisin gives up her successful PR firm, sells her London flat, and samples a taste of early retirement in the quiet village of Carsely. Bored, lonely and used to getting her way, she enters a local baking contest: Surely a blue ribbon for the best quiche will make her the toast of the town. But her recipe for social advancement sours when Judge Cummings-Browne not only snubs her entry–but falls over dead! After her quiche’s secret ingredient turns out to be poison, she must reveal the unsavoury truth…

Agatha has never baked a thing in her life! In fact, she bought her entry ready-made from an upper crust London quicherie. Grating on the nerves of several Carsely residents, she is soon receiving sinister notes. Has her cheating and meddling landed her in hot water, or are the threats related to the suspicious death? It may mean the difference between egg on her face and a coroner’s tag on her toe…


Always a huge kerfuffle of ego and hidden spite…like many a family Christmas (?)

Mr Maguire’s Christmas short story is great. It’s lovely to remember a warm summer’s day on our lawn in this deep, midwinter time.

“In Crybbe, Night Did Not Fall. Night Rose” : I Have Writer Envy :o(

I’ve been such a fan of the Merrily Watkins books for so long that I’d neglected all of Phil Rickman’s stand-alone books.

Until last year.

Having finished the Trilogy about Grayle and Marcus and Cyndi, I’ve started Curfew…again. For the 3rd time!

What an opening sentence. Wow.

We often indulge in Food Envy here. You know that moment when you see what someone else is eating and think Dang&Blast That looks better than my meal ?

I have writer’s envy :o(

On the border between England and Wales lies the tiny town of Crybbe, not picturesque enough for the tourist trade, quietly sliding into decay. Max Goff means to change all that. Goff has made millions in the record business, but his heart is in New Age philosophy. He has learned that Crybbe was once a spiritual centre of sorts, surrounded by ancient standing stones that were emblems of power. He means to replace the stones that have fallen – or been destroyed, as many of them were – and establish a thriving New Age community that will draw tourists and students from all over the world. What Max Goff doesn’t know is that the standing stones of Crybbe were destroyed in the sixteenth century for a very good reason. Some of the endearing customs of the town – such as tolling the church bell for curfew each night – are actually deadly serious rituals. The people of Crybbe know that evil has been kept at bay here by the old ways, and that there’s nothing quaint about them. And the power about to be unleashed by Max Goff is nothing like the soothing music and herbal remedies he associates with the New Age. This is the power of the old age, pent up for centuries and about to be released with deadly fury!

In my head – there is such a wonderful feeling about sitting in front of a proper fire, all snuggled up, with just a reading light on and indulging in a good, old-fashioned scary story.

The next Merrily book is released in June 2022. I can’t complain. Mr Rickman suffered a stroke so (I’m guessing) was unable to go through the proofs and rewrite and re-edit etc.

Wishing him well x

Preview of Night of The Lingering Ghosts/The Fever of the World (???)…….Starring the lingering ghost of the poet William Wordsworth!

‘I called on Darkness-but before the word
Was uttered, midnight darkness seemed to take
All objects from my sight…’
William Wordsworth

England’s most famous poet once thought of himself as a modern druid and found his deepest inspiration on the banks of the River Wye, where Celtic magic can still be found and an old darkness lingers.

Now, as the world is at the mercy of the coronavirus pandemic, diocesan exorcist Merrily Watkins learns that the ghosts of the lower Wye Valley still need some attention…

A Little Bit Of…..V

Before I start. Is that Bill Gates at around 20 seconds ? ?

I love this song and have been trying to stay warm today – doing a bit of Mambo-like/almost/OK. Jiggling about to music.

Jealousy is not something I suffer from. I’ve felt ENVY a few times and tortured myself with useless thoughts of I-Should’ve-Would’ve-Could’ve. M’eh.

Can you image having 5 (V) of them on the go at once?

Is that a pentagamist aka Horny Beast? Or just plain STOOPID? Or hopeful?

Jeez. I ask myself some really strange questions sometimes.

Stranger still – – I can always answer them :o)

BUJO Update & Being Wilfully (?) Blind

I WANTED an all-singing, all-dancing Leuchtturm 1917 who are now producing Ryder Carroll’s BJ original notebooks.

But – champagne tastes and a pint of milk income forced me into going cheap.
Which was really good!

For the price of a Leuchtturm, I got myself two cheapos in one. The only difference? I’ve had to number my own pages. Like I’ve not done that a million times before.

Above is one of the two that arrived yesterday morning (unexpectedly early.) The other one is black but I was feeling all girly and chose to start out pink.

DAY TWO UPDATE : OmgOmgOmg. I’m already on Page 22 and the inmates are stunned and confused by my sudden efficiency. LOL!

It’s been a long running problem in our family. Rewind. I’ve been a long-running problem in our family.

Scatty comes from Scattered. I have headaches every single day and my patience is being constantly fractured by incessant demands. MY FAULT.

Focussing on 12 things at a time makes Jackie crabbity. And prone to Tourette’s…on occasion :o(


I’ve just met two perfect mentors who speak my crazy language.

BTW. December is organised to beggary. I’ve actually written down the future *smug smile*

P.S. I’m certain that my “problem” is the reason why I love knitting. All that counting and calculating and translating weird symbols into a garment has calmed this crazy mind since I was a child. TRUE FACT.

SWEET : Ballroom Blitz

It is so wonderful to no longer have the same old, same old death threats sent to me on a regular basis via Ms. Anon-y-Mouse.

Now that Greta Brookes has been Officially Declared DEAD and her successor rarely watches or comments on the same old, same old, yt channels – Jackie has been set free. Wooohooooo :o)

I may have fought back and bitched back enough to make peeps think twice about pulling their usual “you are useless and worthless and stupid” malarkey on me.

This girl is NOT BOVVERED. Spit yer Spite elsewhere, hens.

A bit of a Ballroom Blitz!

Sweet as they were many decades ago in the image above.

Sweet as they are. Bless ’em x

Big Brother vs Big Other

I’ve gone back to the beginning…which was actually the end of the trilogy. But I read this one first.

Night After Night.

KP. Trinity. Marcus Bacton. Holy Grayle Underhill. Andy Anderson and the glorious Cindy Mars-Lewis return.

Amazon Blurb followed by Phil Rickman’s Truth.

“Contains scenes some viewers may find disturbing…Leo Defford doesn’t believe in ghosts. But, as the head of an independent production company, he does believe in high-impact TV. Defford hires journalist Grayle Underhill to research the history of Knap Hall, a one-time Tudor farmhouse that became the ultimate luxury guest house…until tragedy put it back on the market. Its recent history isn’t conducive to a quick sale, but Defford isn’t interested in keeping Knap Hall for longer than it takes to make a reality TV show that will run night after night…A house isolated by its rural situation and its dark reputation. Seven people, nationally known, but strangers to one another, locked inside. But this time, Big Brother may not be in control.”

The publishers wanted a stand-alone ghost story. Which it is. It totally stands alone, just like the earliest novels. 

Except they didn’t, quite, did they? Characters from previous novels floated in, although it didn’t really matter if you hadn’t read those previous novels. I became a bit superstitious about this. There always had to be someone from an earlier novel, even if it was little more than a walk-on.

Anyway… Night After Night… I had the idea of a ghost story that would also be a crime story and also a novel about reality television. 

Essentially, I wondered what Celebrity Big Brother would be like in a supposedly haunted house. Celebrity Big Brother compressed into a week and with celebs who had either an interest in the paranormal or a profound disdain for anything unscientific. Conflict is at the core of CBB, although this would have to be slightly more cerebral, looking to take psychic research a bit further… or maybe kick it into history.

So I started wondering which of those earlier characters might finish up in this house, and it wasn’t long before Cindy shimmered into a view, a memorable character from a couple of books I wrote under the name Will Kingdom. If you know about Cindy already, enough said. If you don’t… never mind. Although it isn’t that important. This novel really does stand alone.)

My own TV experience is limited to news, so I had a lot of help from Gavin Henderson, who’s devised and produced some Big Brother. Hadn’t realised how many working people would be around that haunted house… like over a hundred? Or how much the celebs could get paid for this (a lot) or how they were chosen… or how you made sure you didn’t wind up with serious chaos and a police raid. 

It was big and complicated, and so it needed to be seen mainly through one pair of eyes. It looked like a job for Cindy’s friend, Grayle Underhill, American-born New Age journalist. Someone who knew how to handle slightly strange people.

For some reason, I felt it needed to be told in the present tense. I’d never done this before, not for a whole book. It was interesting. It puts you right there, in the house. It makes you examine things in a more intense way. Where am I? What can I see? What do I feel? What do some people feel that others don’t? Grayle’s never entirely sure.

If you’ve met Grayle before, you should know that she’s a few years older and she’s changed quite a lot. Become more British, more cynical, more objective. More interesting, I think.

Right, then…  a ghost story and also a crime novel, both of which kind of creep up on you.

It’s about how people react to ghosts and how some people try to use them. The ghosts out there and the ghosts in your mind. How not everyone has the same experience – bit like my old website. It’s not a horror novel. Yeah, yeah, I know Amazon’s going to keep telling you it’s horror; Amazon computers don’t deal in subtleties, don’t easily handle – here comes one of my favourite words – periphery. 

I’ll leave you with Marcus Bacton’s view. Marcus is a grumpy old sod and no friend of Richard Dawkins.

Ghosts,’ Marcus says, ‘exist as momentary reminders. Accept them. Don’t challenge them, never try to befriend them. Don’t run towards them waving your crucifix… back away. I’ve heard sceptics and atheists say “I don’t believe in ghosts but I’m afraid of them.” Well exactly. Trust terror… little else is safe.’

Is he right? Dunno, really.



I never have been a fan of the Big Brother TV show. I watched one and saw a bunch of retards doing retarded stuff all in the pursuit of fame and money.

Channel 4 used to be the Edgy UK channel. Then they became a bit more conservative and Channel 5 bought the franchise for BB.

A backwards sliding scale?

Anyhoo. It’s all coming back to me as I listen. The working title for Leo’s new show is Big Other. 7 celebs will spend a week in the late Trinity Ansell’s home, talk about spiritualism and ghosts and religion and revenants and try to summon up two women who both died aged 36.

Trinity and Katherine Parr – the end one of Divorced, Beheaded, Died. Divorced. Beheaded. SURVIVED….but not for long.

Phil thinks so far out of every box ever constructed. That’s why I love his work. Apparently he had a stroke recently (2019) that has put the latest Merrily Watkins book back a couple of years.

Sublime to………Big Brother.

Bi Toilichte!

We are never too old to learn. I’ve gone back to school to learn the Gaelic.

Not from the video below but from a full on course.

The Gaelic is WEIRD. They only have 18 letters but their words are looong.

I’m right at the beginning, doing the basics in vocabulary and accents (they have grave accents but no acute accents) and exceptions to rules and the Vocative Case and …I now have a headache :o)

The Green Man

I have a small plaster cast of The Green Man hanging on my kitchen wall.

I believe in him and his GREENery.

The Cold Calling by Will Kingdom audiobook has been on hold for a few nights.

It is a brilliant book with brilliant characters. I’ve fallen in love with Marcus Bacton, the over 60 year old ex-English teacher who is now owner and proprietor of the sadly “not very well known” Phenomenonologist magazine. Who lives with an elderly housekeeper and natural healer, in a house attached to a ruined castle, whom he calls My Old Love. Who owns a dog called Malcom. And whose bad language and bad temper deteriorates with every page he appears on.

BUT : the main villain is called The Green Man.

Cindy Mars-Lewis, a crazy old spinster (?) writes to Marcus constantly from Pembrokeshire and wants him to publish every letter in the magazine is intriguing too. Marcus hasn’t met Cindy yet…. ooooh!

Anyways. Last listen was all about Bobby Maiden’s NDE and it gave me nightmarish lucid dreams where I’m screaming but not screaming.

I’ll try again tonight. Go figure.

The Cold Calling : Will Kingdom

I’ve just start listening to this though I’ve had it for ages on the ipad.

I seem to have done the Will Kingdom books backwards. Holy Grayle and Cindy and Nurse Andy and Bobby and Kelvin Kyte etc all knew each other very well in the first one I’d read.

This is their beginning story.

Oh. BTW Will Kingdom is the pen name of Phil Rickman.

What stunned me in the first chapters was the reference to William Rufus, William II, second son of William the Bastard Conqueror who got GOT by one of those pesky stray arrows in the early 12th century in a forest. See many previous posts about the Hidden History of the British Isles.

Life isn’t easy for D.I. Bobby Maiden, possibly the only straight detective in a corrupt police division. And death comes even harder. When Maiden is revived in hospital after dying in a hit and run incident, his memories are not the familiar ones of bright lights and angelic music, only of a cold, harsh place he has no wish to revisit…ever. But, because of his experience, Bobby Maiden may be the only person who can reach The Green Man, a serial murderer the police don’t even know exists…a savage predator who haunts prehistoric stones and burial mounds in the belief that he is defending Britain’s sacred heritage. Meanwhile, New Age journalist Grayle Underhill – known as Holy Grayle to readers of the New York Courier – arrives in Britain to search for her sister…and maybe find herself. Bizarre events lead both Maiden and Underhill to a remote village on the Welsh border…base of the St Mary Circle, an eccentric group of paranormal researchers who know that there are more crimes in heaven and earth… The Cold Calling…X-Files with Attitude.


ALWAYS Able to Go Back to THE Bard : Lavinia

Sheesh. I did this so long ago and have repeated it multiple times.

Yes. It’s GRIMM but the messed up origins happened even further back in time than most know.

GB OG POST : Lavinia & Lucretia…Me talking about Titus Andronicus.



Lavinia and Lucretia

Tuesday, 4 June 2019, 7:45

SparkNotes Character Analysis of Lavinia in Titus Andronicus:

Lavinia –  The only daughter of Titus Andronicus, she spurns Saturninus’s offer to make her his empress because she is in love with Bassianus. She is brutally raped and disfigured by Chiron and Demetrius in the forest during the hunt. Thereafter, she is a mute and horrifying presence constantly on stage, complement to her father’s loquacious sufferings, and accomplice to his bloody vengeance. Deprived of every means of communication, and robbed of her most precious chastity, she comes across as one of Shakespeare’s most incapacitated heroines. Yet, as she is physically pared down, her narrative and thematic importance escalates, drawing our attention to the importance of pantomime on the stage. The rape of Lavinia is undoubtedly the central and most horrific crime of the play, which is why Edward Ravenscroft’s adaptation of the play has the alternate name of “The Rape of Lavinia.” For this reason, her character invites especially careful scrutiny.

Lavinia is also Lucretia, as in the Rape of Lucretia by Tarquinius. This event from the annals of “Ancient Rome” began the Tarquinian Wars that destroyed the Kingdom of Rome.

NC equates Lavinia with the Virgin Mary and  for me, she is the embodiment of the Divine Female. The Holy Mother, mutilated and destroyed by the people around her.

She is the symbol of abuse that transcends time and space. Shorn of all her divine rights.

The double rape takes away her chastity, dignity and self-respect. The cutting off of both her hands destroys her ability to function normally.

The cutting out of her tongue silences her. Forever.

She is the Sacrifice of the Innocents in every way,shape and form. The lesson always repeated but never learned.

Shit. I’m beginning to really hate this play. 

I’m feeling the need to do something really silly now.

Like going into the food cupboard, removing all the labels and playing lucky dip.

Rice pudding, mushy peas and lime pickle for lunch anyone?



BTW. I have nothing against Jon Solo. I enjoy his videos. I’m just happy, happy doing MY THING :o)



At school I was totally ridiculed for liking this singer. And this song.

Back in the day…he had HAIR :o)

Still like this song. Muchly.

Never Backing Down from MY favourites.

Falsies can go and perform impossible anatomical acts on themselves. Including my multi-pile (of shit) HATERS who were most likely born WAY after 1975. Yes, kiddies?

White Night : Friends of the Dusk

I KNOW that I am in for yet another White Night…aka Sleepless.


Might as well frit meself to death or asleep via Merrily and Deviant Burials.

When autumn storms blast Hereford, centuries-old human bones are found amongst the roots of a tree blown down on the city’s Castle Green. But why have they been stolen? At the nearby Cathedral, another storm is building around a new, modernising bishop who believes that if the Church is to survive it must phase out irrelevant archaic practices. Not good news for Merrily Watkins, consultant on the paranormal or, as it used to be known, diocesan exorcist. Especially as she’s now presented with the job at its most medieval. In the moody countryside on the edge of Wales, a rambling 12th-century house is thought to be haunted. Although its new owners don’t believe in ghosts, they do believe in spiritual darkness and the need for exorcism. But their approach to Merrily is oblique and guarded. No-one can be told – least of all, the new bishop. Merrily’s discovery of the house’s links with the medieval legend of a man who resisted mortality threatens to expose the hidden history of a more modern cult and its trail of insidious abuse. A trail that may not be closed.

In Phil Rickman’s own words:

a deviant burial

a legend of the undead

still seductive

still deadly

P.S. FRIT is a Northern English word for Frighten…we talk so fast that we miss out a few letters :o)