I’m a Suicide Survivor. Here’s What I Learned. (It’s uplifting, I promise.)

I’ve had so much respect for Cathy Hay for a long time. Her videos have both helped and bamboozled me over the years.

She is best known as a seamstress/sewer/tailor/creator of garments/clothing historian.

Why did she connect with me so well? How did I understand or even recognise that innate sadness deep inside?

BTW – I never saw any bright lights or welcoming faces. I saw only a darkness too deep and too terrifying ever to give in to it. My place was HERE. Despite my inability to cope with the pain of living. Dying is easy….living is hard.

God’s Honest Truth.


I was given a present this morning….some one KNOWS my fatal weakness.

Y’all can keep your Eclairs, Profiteroles, Gateaux, Danish Pastries etc.

THIS will make me go weak at the knees and binge eat.

Best with a good amount of salted butter and/or Extra Mature

My Dad always said that you could tell a perfect Mature Cheddar – it makes your teeth itch :o)

Robin Hood : Prince of Thieves

I LOVE this film for many reasons, both personal and historical.

Personal – We were living in Gibraltar when it first came on the TV. My boys were tiny and funny and totalling maddening!

Historical – Just look at the image above and deny ME this part of my work over the last 4 years. Which hand are they going to cut off?

I could link so many previous posts to make my point but – m’eh – who cares.

According to N.C. Robin Hood is just a reflection of Christ and/or Andronicus I Comnenus.

The Turin Shroud conceals the fact that… whomever it is an image of…the right hand has been severed. Like Andronicus. Like the bloody handprints of Muhammed. Or the Red Hand of Ulster. Or the right hands carved into the Templar Church at Garway. Did y’all notice that in the Garway Templar Church post t’other day?

This film also features the “MOOR” Azeem. The Saracan. The Enemy.

BUT BEST OF ALL (for me at least) is Alan Rickman’s Sheriff of Nottingham.

And WHY the flying fluff are Robin Hood and his Merry Men so deeply associated with Lincoln Green?

Lincoln green is the colour of dyed woollen cloth formerly originating in LincolnEngland, a major cloth town during the high Middle Ages. The dyers of Lincoln, known for colouring wool with woad (Isatis tinctoria) to give it a strong blue shade,[2] created the eponymous Lincoln green by overdyeing this blue wool with yellow weld (Reseda luteola)[3] or dyers’ broom, Genista tinctoria.[4] Other colours like “Coventry blue” and “Kendal green” were linked to the dyers of different English towns.[5]

Lincoln green is often associated with Robin Hood and his Merry Men in Sherwood ForestNottinghamshire

Who Knows who knows?

P.S. Andronicus I Comnenus had several members of his extended family executed when he became Emperor. He hated that they had grown so rich by taking from the poor. So he reversed that and GAVE to the poor whenever he could.

They took their revenge by cutting off his right hand and having him crucified. Look it up…in the NOT Mainstream Sources.

White Crow & Steam Punk

WTF? £269 for a paperback copy of White Crow?

I have 2 books. Yay!

This was my first intro to Steam Punk, though I had no idea what that was at the time.

As usual, my boys put me right. Sigh.

One day we were all in Lincoln and these amazingly dressed people were everywhere. I loved it, they looked amazing… but had no effing idea what they were or why.

Good Grief Mother – They are Steam Punk.

Oh. Cheers, me dears.

Temple Bruer, Lincolnshire

I’ve long wanted to visit this place but it’s in a foreign land, aka North Kesteven. I live in East Lindsay.

Our county is divided into 7 different districts/councils/foreign places

OK. I’m being fatuous. This place is just north of Lincoln.

Temple Bruer Preceptory is a historic building in the civil parish of Temple Bruer with Temple High GrangeNorth KestevenLincolnshire, England. It is one of the few Knights Templar sites left in England where any ruins remain standing. Its name comes from its Templar ownership and its position in the middle of the Lincoln Heath, bruyère (heather) from the French language current at the time. It was founded in the period 1150 to 1160 and the order was dissolved in 1312.[1][2] The site is located between the A15 and A607 roads, 2.5 miles (4.0 km) north from Cranwell. The site has been excavated twice, firstly by the Rev Dr. G. Oliver, the rector of Scopwick in 1832–3, and in 1908 by Sir William St John Hope.

I was “ordered” last night to watch this bloke (he’s a Johnny Depp lookylikey) who does stuff about places around here.

Quote : I’ll take you to the Demon Church at Skidbrooke. You can spent the night there, ghost-hunting.

I said Thanks and then told him EXACTLY where to put himself :o)

Anyhoo : Johnny Depp at Temple Bruer.

When I Was 17…It Was a Very Good Year

September, the start of the 6th Form, we had a new pupil in the Common Room called Jim.

We all had great fun. He was a comedian then. At the end of term, Christmas, I dropped out of school and left home to earn a living “down south.”

We met again when I was almost 18, walking home from my job in a local restaurant. A car squealed to a halt beside me and he jumped out, leaving his parents bemused. We had a quick chat, he’d just got the job as our local theatre manager. Weeks later he came to my 18th birthday party. He met my Mum and flattered her to heaven and back and then, on the 3rd of January, I left to join the army without telling him.

The Kid Did Well. He was always meant to be a Star :o)

Sweet to reconnect with old and much loved mates.

My Local Dump : Kirkby on Bain

This is a bit mixed up.

Watch the video below to see about a local murder?

Anyways – KirKby is our local tip/dump/landfill/recycling centre. When we had the Landrover Defender we’d fill the back up with our weekly rubbish (and the Tsar dog) and tootle down the road. Dump off the bags etc with the dog watching and investigating and go home. All happy and carefree.

Well. Since the stupid started, early 2020, the “dump” has been closed for many months and then re-opened. BUT – only for those who have paid for a pass and had their mandated pricks.


Have y’all ever seen, smelled a landfill site? You’d get every disease ever invented from one of them. And peeps are worried about shaking hands and breathing???

Oh. I love tinned corned beef sandwiches with pickled beetroot :o)

Sacred Spaces

It all depends on WHO YOU CHOOSE to teach you.

Since the age of 21 I’ve been taught about Sacred Space by many people. My faves are an American (my soul mother)

An Englishwoman.

An American/Cherokee woman.

And I have been physically, emotionally and spiritually connected to Lincoln Cathedral since I was 11 years old.

The place is SACRED and beautiful and healing.

Unless you see it through a yt TRUTH (?) channel who calls the Glory EVIL. Like he called ME!

These buildings have always “spoken” to me. Not via History or soi-disant teachers, by being physically present in them.

I was also taught how to “read” a building with my hands. You wouldn’t believe how simple this is.

We ALL have the ability to do it.

Structures, buildings collect energy over their existence. To “read” it just needs awareness and intent and the knowledge of depth/space and how cobwebs feel.

That’s a BAD explanation but a computer is not conducive to ACTUAL real life experience.

My bad :o(

The King of Norway and Lincoln

According to MS History, Magnus Barelegs sent his wealth (money) to be preserved by a “wealthy citizen of Lincoln.”


I’ve no idea but Steep Hill in Lincoln has the famous Jew’s House. Did he send it here?

No idea.

According to Modern Alt Historians (WTF?) Lincoln is EVIL beyond EVIL.

Mmmn. OK. Flat Earth British. WHY?

‘cos you see DICKS everywhere?


About 2:00 he starts talking about Lincoln Cathedral. He’s been here?

No wonder I’ve been feeling sick and drained. FACT!

Apparently this HOLY place is now EVIL. A bit like me.

FEB called me EVIL and precipitated my last NDE.

P.S. I left after the Lincoln rant but had enough time to see that many of his subs and chatters also belong to the other 2 of the 3 Blind Blind Mice.

UAP & Jon Levi.

They have about 200,000 worshippers between them.

And I’m banned from all.

Go figure. And/or ENJOY :o)

The White Hart Inn, Lincoln

Walked past it often.

When I met my American friend in the LINCOLN hotel and gave him the alpaca sweater I’d knitted for him, he was all hyped about seeing Hom Tanks in the street a couple of days before.

Where do the “elite” stay when in my home city ?

Hollywood royalty and a British legend descended on Lincoln with a film crew in 2005 to shoot scenes for box office smash The Da Vinci Code.

Tom Hanks and Sir Ian McKellen stayed at the White Hart Hotel, a former 14th century coaching inn, in Bailgate.

TRUE. FACT. Check. IT. Out. Yourself :o)

28 Minutes vs 40 odd Years

This is me feeling kind and generous.

I need to save someone from 40 years of work and an actual need to travel and see.

He can just watch this and make up some BS about my HOME city. Three towers and not one single dome?

HEY : I can be sweet. Sometimes :o)

P.S. I expect nothing back. No. Stop it. Thank me? NO! Never happened before so…… !

Diving Deeper : St Maggie of Antioch. Beheaded.


Same old. Same old.

Orf with her head. The Highland Curse.

Maggie was one of Jehanne d’Arc’s Saints. Those angels who spoke to her as a child.

If you watched the Dan Green series of videos previously shown, or anything else posted today, or have followed me from Day Dot (under a n other name) you will know that I live in a tiny village not far from Lincoln and the church that borders our garden is Saint Margaret’s.

Or not.

Catch me if you can :o)

The Lincoln Cathedral Code

I came across this many years ago. It peaked my interest for many reasons.

I’d read The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, The Da Vinci Code, Rennes-le-Chateau and many other books around this subject.

I am and have always been a fan (since childhood) of my local boy, Alfie Tennyson.

The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail was a research book for me because it mentions not only Jehanne d’Arc but also Claude, Duc de Chevreuse…the husband of Marie de Rohan.

The year is 1622 and Marie de Rohan, disgraced and exiled from the Bourbon court, will do anything to keep her vow. She will protect the unhappy and neglected Anne of Austria, Spanish-born Queen of France.
Beautiful, subtle, witty and fearless, Marie plans her future in the full knowledge that her greatest enemies are also the most powerful and influential men in the country.
‘I think I am destined to be the object of the folly of madmen.’
With France overwhelmed by the domination of Spain and an impending marriage of Charles Stuart of England to the Spanish Infanta, Marie de Rohan is unaware that a brilliant but flawed Englishman, George Villiers, Marquis of Buckingham, has plans of his own for her. And for Anne of Austria.
Louis XIII of France, James Stuart of England, Philip IV of Spain and an intense, wily churchman called Richelieu, politic, promise and then prepare for war.
Yet before three years have passed, the whole of Europe is speaking one name – Marie de Rohan.

Dan Green – Dunno. But this is extremely interesting :o)


And THIS POS is now our Go-To Alt Historian?

I’ve been here many times. I passed my History exams writing an almost theses length (maybe an exaggeration there caused by pure disgust) paper about Lincoln Cathedral.

The Lincoln Imp is famous for a REASON! Lincoln Green the colour worn by Robin Hood and His Mates?

This man is so demonic it’s unbelievable.

The entrance fee came in just a few years back. You DO NOT HAVE TO GO IN THERE and pay a donation for the upkeep of the building.

I CHALLENGE FEB Martin Liedtke to keep a building this big without money. C’mon. Hoofy Hoofy. Did you see Tennyson’s Memorial there?

Jesus Christ -I’m SO fucking angry.

Sorry, Mum, but needs must when the DEVIL drives.

Lincoln Cathedral plus I CHOSE THAT “Thing” to help me?

About 2:00 he starts talking about Lincoln Cathedral. He’s been here?

No wonder I’ve been feeling sick and drained. FACT!

Apparently this HOLY place is now EVIL. A bit like me.

FEB called me EVIL and precipitated my last NDE.

P.S. I left after the Lincoln rant but had enough time to see that many of his subs and chatters also belong to the other 2 of the 3 Blind Blind Mice.

UAP & Jon Levi.

They have about 200,000 worshippers between them.

And I’m banned from all.

Go figure. And/or ENJOY :o)