Somewhere in the deep, dusty realms of my subconscious I’ve been cogitating about a post I wrote the other day about being a latch key kid.
Today, it has all come together.
My Mum died when I was in my 20’s. My Dad died when I was in my 40’s.
I had been not just the single parent to my younger brothers, but my parents’ single parent too. Always at their beck and call.
This has given me SEVERE abandonment wounds or cPTSD. Stuff I’ve struggled with my entire life as I’ve been shifted from pillar to post, living in almost 30 different places and losing friends on a regular basis.
About 80 to 90% of my wife and mother life has been spent alone or alone as a single parent bringing up my boys.
I’ve learned to set boundaries. As in – Jackie is NOT available right now…beep, beep, beep!
I probably acted out when abandoned by “new fam/friends” in 2019. It was just the same old, same old STFU and go away.
This creates a reader. A writer. A loner.
So Be It. I’ve come to terms with this.
And – btw – it’s quite nice when you can drop other peeps’ drama and just go with YOUR flow :o)
And this is why I can no longer “help” those who refuse to be helped. They give NOTHING but pain & BS back. Fact